We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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