do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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