Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
