the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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