But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
