He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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