wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
