Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
