She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
