He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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