Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
