It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
