Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize