So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
