i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
