Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
