He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
