No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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