I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's get the cat blown out
Cover your peen. We're going out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
