plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
