Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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