So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
