you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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