bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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