I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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