hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
