I seem to have left my pride at pride
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
