Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
