There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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