wake up i wanna do it froggy style
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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