If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
