I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i will never coherently bang her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
