the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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