I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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