I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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