If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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