Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
