I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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