the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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