You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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