i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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