My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
