Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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