am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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