C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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