Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
do nipples grow back?
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