dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
