walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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