Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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