office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
