is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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